How to Overcome Judgement
The other day I was at Walmart. As I walked up the aisle, a lady was coming toward me. She was dressed in a robe with slippers and I’m pretty confident her hair (possibly teeth too) had not yet been brushed. I quickly started to entertain some thoughts, (judgement) “Well, why didn’t she just take the time…” (that’s as far as we will go with my awesome thoughts at that moment).
As the fountain of criticism began to flow, I felt my pulse increase. Maybe you too are familiar with that pulmonary racing when you are about to go on a soap box with all of your opinions (maybe that’s just me, but that’s what happened.) Quickly I snapped at myself, “Kalyn, what are you doing?. You have no idea what’s going on in that ladies life. You don’t know if she is well or ill.
Have you ever paid one of her bills, felt one of her scars or carried any of her burdens, even if but for a moment?”
The answer is a heralding, NO!
No, I don’t know her story and in the same situation maybe I would fall!
The reality is, we can never fully understand anyones thought process, save our own. We will never have the same experiences as others. We will never know truly what it is like to “walk in their shoes”. That’s a good name for a title! Whose shoes fit you best, yours or someone else’s? That’s what I want to focus on today, walking in our own shoes.
Take a look at 1 Thessalonians.
And to make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody. 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12 NIV
Aspire to lead a calm and peaceful life as you mind your own business and earn your living, just as we’ve taught you. 1 Thessalonians 4:11 The Passion Translation
Stay calm; mind your own business; do your own job. 1 Thessalonians 4:11 The Message
And that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your hands, even as we charged you; … 1 Thessalonians 4:11 ASV
There are some great tips in that verse that we could spend hours looking into but for this let’s look at just one. “Mind your own business”. I prefer to say it with a little momma tone, Mind yo’ bizz!’
Let’s break down some of these words with the Strong’s Concordance:
Your in this verse is a pronoun meaning “belonging to you”
Own in this verse is an adjective meaning “belonging to.”
Business is “that which occupies the time, attention and labor of men”.
So “your” modifies “own” and “own” describes business. Simply stated, “that which occupies your time and attention is yours, your own and belongs you alone.” .
That doesn’t sound too hard, does it? That one line should be all I need. Honestly though there are many times that I have enjoyed minding others business so much more. I can be an expert on how someone else should parent! I have a friend who has many more children than I have ever had. There was a discussion of how she was handling a situation with all of them and I immediately knew the exact answer, HA! (please note sarcasm). My ego-mind that was loving not staying in my own lane-the same one that has never been in such a situation-was ready to judge how this momma was gonna handle something I had no business in! There’s that word, business…this was not my own, it was hers.
I also vividly remember my best friend, Heidi, who had children several years after I had my first one say to me, “When I have kids that will not happen”. Her expertise on how I should parent soon developed some humility when she had her own children and realized parenting is not an act of perfection, but a messy-beautiful-colorful art!
She and I laugh about this all the time. Man, how we have grown! The truth of the matter is, each person has the joy, challenge, & opportunity to live their life with all of its crazy, messy, beautiful parts.
Every time I choose to judge someone, I am actually revealing a part of myself that is not yet whole.
Read that one more time. The moment I step out of my “own business” into another and try to judge how “they” should or should not live, I am revealing to myself something.
So, here is my challenge to you.
When that “false perception” tries to direct my thoughts to lead someone else’s path, I have the right and privilege to STOP THE TRAIN and look inside myself. By doing this I get to see what, inside me, needs some focused healing. Ultimately, my goal is to be my best self, in and through my Father. The only way to accomplish this goal is with some introspection.
Roman 12:2 gives us the formula and its very simple.
“Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”
Ephesians 4:32 is a beautiful prescription for healing our past hurts.
“But instead be kind and affectionate toward one another. Has God graciously forgiven you? Then graciously forgive one another in the depth of Christ’s love.”
God has given the power of change to me. Transformed is literally a metamorphisi change. When I choose to look at my thoughts and adjust them I literally transform.
Proverbs 23:7
“For as he thinks within himself. so is he.”
Proverbs establishes that our thoughts make us who we are and Romans shows me I get to change every thought I want to. Therefore, I am a continual “kaleidoscope of ever changing beauty”, if I want to be.
“Kaleidoscope of ever changing beauty” Dr. VP Wierwille
Do you know what these are?
They are my shoes…the ones I and only I have ever worn.
They have seen all the roads I have traveled, climbed all the mountains in front of me, and jumped over the many obstacles in my path.
You have never worn these shoes.
You don’t know how they have stood when I felt like falling, danced when it was raining, and ran when others walked.
A true friend loves at all times….you can only walk in your own shoes…..see only the best in others. You do not know what it is like in their shoes.
A final word I want to leave you with is this, “Not my monkey, not my circus”!
I have found that when I am in a situation that “triggers” me to start down a path where I want to tell someone else how to live/think/dress, I simply say those words.
Why?
Because, when I took a second to look inside me after judgement began, I realized I was kind of a control freak and that when others were doing something in a way that I didn’t like, I wanted to step in and “control” the situation. If I remind myself that it is not MY situation to handle I easily release all my “feel” to get in there and direct everything. “Not my monkey, not my circus” is a powerful check point for me personally.
The final word I want to leave you with is this poem. I read it as a little girl and it has resonated often for me.
Pray don’t find fault with the man who limps
or stumbles along the road,
unless you have worn the shoes he wears
or struggled beneath his load.
There may be tacks in his shoes that hurt,
though hidden away from view,
or the burden he bears, placed on your back
might cause you to stumble too.
Don’t sneer at the man who’s down today
unless you have felt the blow
that caused his fall or felt the shame
that only the fallen know.
You may be strong, but still the blows
that were his if dealt to you,
in the selfsame way, at the selfsame time,
might cause you to stagger too.
Don’t be too harsh with the man who sins
or pelt him with word or stone,
unless you are sure, yea, doubly sure,
that you have no sins of your own
for you know perhaps if the tempter’s voice
should whisper as softly to you
as it did to him when he went astray,
it might cause you to stumble too.
Author Unknown
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The New Birth is the most wonderful Miracle to begin with! Romans 10:9-10 shows us how to receive the new birth.
9 That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.
10 For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.
This begins the first Miracle for you. NOW, you have unlimited resources available to you.
You now have the holy spirit inside of you, coursing through your veins and behind every fiber of your being.
You have access to all nine of the manifestations of holy spirit. 1 Corinthians 12
You are seated in the heavenlies. Ephesians 2:6
You have Christ in You, the hope of glory! Colossians 1:27
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Let’s walk this journey together! God has called you for Such A Time As This!
1. We believe in one God – Father, Son, and Holy Spirit – Creator of all things. (Ephesians 4:4-6)
2.We believe that the Lord Jesus Christ, the only begotten Son of God, was conceived of the Holy Spirit, born of Mary, crucified, died, was buried, resurrected, ascended into heaven, and is now seated at the right hand of the true God and Father. (John 3:16)
3. We believe the Bible in its entirety to be the absolute inspired Word of God and the infallible rule of faith and conduct. It’s a spiritual book, written by The Spirit for the spirit. (II Timothy 2:15)
4. We believe in the future return of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. ( I Thessalonians 4:13-18)
5. We believe in the personal salvation of Believers by believing in the heart and confessing with the mouth that Jesus is Lord. (“Romans 10:9 and 10.”)
6. We believe in sanctification, redemption, justification, and ministry of reconciliation and righteousness as sonship rights given at the time of the new birth through the Word of God and by the Holy Spirit.
7. We believe in divine healing, through faith in the Name of Jesus Christ, via the shed blood and broken body, and that healing is included in the redemption and available at any time during life.
8.We believe in the Baptism of the Holy Spirit as outlined in Romans 10:9-10. We believe that every born-again person has the ability to operate all nine of the manifestations of the holy spirit. Also, we believe in the evidence of the fruit of the Spirit. (Ephesians 4:7)
9. We believe in the Christian commission (Matthew 28:19) by speaking boldly, tenderly, and lovingly to all of humanity.
10. We believe in the forgiveness of sins as outlined in scripture by confessing our sins to our Heavenly Father, God and that forgiveness is given at that moment. (1 John 1:9)
11. We believe the thief, the devil, comes to steal, to kill, and to destroy and credit any of these actions as belonging to him. In complete contrast, we believe that Jesus came so that we might have life {Zoe – life in all of its fullness} and have it more abundantly. He gets credit for this abundance in life. (John 10:10)
12. We believe that God desires greatly to work in us to will and to do of His good pleasure. (Philippians 2:13)
N.O.W – No Ordinary Woman
No Ordinary Woman.
N.O.W.—Woman, God created you to be more than ordinary.
He created you to be Extra-Ordinary.
When you received His gift of Holy Spirit you were no longer just a body and a soul, you became a three-part being of Body-Soul-Spirit; complete, a perfect work through the miracle of the New Birth!
This is our movement, daughter of God, to stand out from the crowd: to boldly proclaim I am His and He is mine. To see signs follow you, to see miracles performed through you, to be His Wonder! To rely only upon your God. To expect only from Him. To be independently dependent on Him alone. He is enough for you.
We are His masterpieces and we radiate with His divine love everywhere we go. You were created to live in this day-time-hour. Created for such a time as this and together we will move mountains!
In Him We Live exists so that women who love God can know and believe that they were born for such a time as NOW.
Our Code
1. Jesus is the center and the Head of The Body. It’s All About Following His Directive (Colossians 1:18)
2. We believe big and take action. It’s all about activated faith All About Activated Faith (James 2:14-26)
3. We honor one another to glorify God. It’s allAll About the Romans 12 Experience
4. We are Lovers, not Haters. It’s All About loving on others (Mark 12:31)
5. We think in Color. It’s All About how God inspires us by working in us to will and to do of His good pleasure (Philippians 2:13)
6. We don’t back down. It’s All About submitting to God and watching the Devil flee in terror (James 4:7)
7. We stand approved before God. It’s All About knowing scripture and how to apply (2 Timothy 2:15)
8. We choose our thoughts. It’s All About knowing which thought to lead captive to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5)
9. We will express gratitude. It’s All About keeping a thankful heart (1 Thessalonians 5:18)
10. We move from a place of power. It’s All About using the right tools afforded us through Jesus Christ, His Father, The Holy Spirit, and The Bible. (Ephesians 6:10-18)
11. We speak to our mountains (ALL OF THEM). It’s All About the power of our words (Mark 11:23)